I’ve been following the responses regarding the column Ken wrote concerning the woman who approached him inquiring as to why women and children/babies are “now” wearing turbans as well the reason behind the different colour turbans within the Sikh community. I’m really quite disappointed reading how his statement about this woman re-locating has been taken. Unfair accusations and assumptions have been made against him and to me this is disappointing and uncalled for.
The fact is, Ken and his co-worker patiently took the time out (at their place of work) to try to answer her “questions” but due to her anxiety and responses to their answers, it was evident to the two of them that their answers were not good enough for her. Based on the anxiety she demonstrated and comments, there appears to be a very different underlying issue as to where she was really coming from. It seemed like she appeared frustrated with the increased number of turbans in our community and was disturbed as to why “now” women and children wear them. I will jump in briefly to say that I was born in Abbotsford, I’m a Caucasian woman and I have lived here my entire life (40 yrs) and Sikh women and children/babies wearing turbans is NOT a new “thing” in fact, I use to see more women and children/babies wearing turbans in our community than I do now.
I have to say based on this woman’s response and the indifference she demonstrated towards Ken and his co-worker, her questions to me were not coming from a sincere place but rather they appear to be an excuse for her to express her frustration with the increased number of “turbans” within our community.
In Ken’s column he said, “I have a simpler solution - if you don't like the ethnicity in our local community, consider relocating.”
Let us take a close and honest look at what he is saying here. He said “IF” you don’t like the ethnicity in the community, “CONSIDER” relocating. The “IF” is in relation to “IF” this woman can not for whatever reason accept another culture, be satisfied with our ever growing community of Sikh people and other cultures who may wear a head covering or turban, get past her issues regarding this culture and their practices and be content and happy to live in a community with many people who wear turbans......IF she can’t get past her personal issues and possible prejudices and live happily, it MIGHT be better for her to consider relocating to another town where she feels happier.
The same suggestion can be used if you don’t like the rain in Vancouver and can’t live happily amongst all the rainfall then possibly moving to a drier town or province would be a better solution.
If one can’t get past their barriers, there is nothing wrong, hurtful, disturbing or unfair in suggesting that the person relocate to a place that would make them feel happier and more a part of their community.
Telling someone to go back to “their” country is WAY different than what has been “suggested” above by Ken. Telling someone to go back to “their” country is used when one culture, colour or race does not accept another that is different from their own moving into their country or community....it is WAY different from what Ken was suggesting. If one CAN’T get past their barriers, live happily amongst other cultures/races then possible relocation is not a hurtful suggestion.
Ken has met MANY caucasian people that have told him personally that they moved out of Abbotsford BECAUSE of the East Indian population. I have to say, to me this is a double edged sword.....on one hand, good for them for being honest but on the other hand it makes me angry and I find it to be a terrible shame. I personally grew up with many East Indian people who treated my family as their own family....loved us unconditionally and showed great care and compassion. Ken has also met a number of East Indian people that have also relocated because they didn’t like the East Indian (their own culture) amongst them and didn’t want their children going to the same school. I had never heard this before talking with him. Truly Ken has heard it all throughout the years.
Instead of jumping to conclusion and assuming what Ken “meant” - each of you should have taken the time to personally contact Ken and ask for clarification. Everything that I wrote above is because I personally spoke with Ken myself and he explained everything that happened during this encounter. This (approaching your fellow brother, neighbour, friend) is what builds community and relationships....making assumptions and blanket accusations does not move us forward or closer to one another.
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